


mou ikkai, mou ikkai

by starrie_skies



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Angst, Basically just me being sad and projecting, First fic I'm actually posting, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, cause I was sad and couldn't sleep, i was sleep deprived when i wrote this, vent fic, written at 3 am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 13:18:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16493324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrie_skies/pseuds/starrie_skies
Summary: watashi wa kyou mo korogarimasuto shoujo wa iu shoujo wa iukotoba ni imi o kanadenagaramou ii kai?---------------It's midnight, and she's not alone. Not really. It's what she tells herself, anyway, and she really believes it, so it can't be a lie, can it?





	mou ikkai, mou ikkai

It's midnight, and she's not alone. Not really. It's what she tells herself, anyway, and she really believes it, so it can't be a lie, can it? 

But she doesn't believe it, not at all. Deep down, she can't, because she just knows. She's Miku, after all. She's the one whispers spread about when she first started this whole music thing. She's the one constantly confronted with fake smiles, and she's the one who replies with an equally plastic grin. Nobody wants her, they want her name. 

It's one in the morning, and she's okay with not being wanted. Really, she is. It's what she tells herself, anyway, and she really believes it, so it can't be a lie, can it? 

But she can't force herself to believe it. Because every time she talks about something and people ignore her, it hurts. Because every time it's made clear that she's a big name, and that name is what's loved, it hurts. And it hurts more that she can't express it, not until it's put to music. Maybe not even then. Idols are all smiles, after all, all manufactured plastic grins and false cheer in their voices. But she pretends not to be like that. 

It's two in the morning, and her smiles are genuine. They really are. It's what she tells herself, anyway, and she really believes it, so it can't be a lie, can it? 

But she knows it's a lie. She knows it's a lie because of the paper that lays in front of her. It's all messily scribbled words. She writes things that'll never see the light of day, so she has some outlet. But the outlet doesn't help, not when she burns it afterwards every single time. Not when the characters laugh and taunt her, even as their ashes fly into the sky. Not when she burns with the fire, not when her personality, her happiness, her dreams, everything that makes her herself all fly into the sky with the ashes. But sacrifices must be made. 

It's three in the morning, and she's happy. She really is. It's what she tells herself, anyway, and she really believes it, so it can't be a lie, can it? 

But it is. She can't be happy when she's fading away. Soon she'll cease to exist. Nobody would notice, anyway, as long as she keeps delivering what's expected. They won't care. And maybe that's what she wants. 

It's four in the morning, and she burns the paper. She watches the ashes soar into the sky, and just smiles that same plastic smile again. 

It's four in the morning, and Hatsune Miku ceases to exist.

**Author's Note:**

> Title and part of the summary from Rolling Girl. 
> 
> Does she die or just stop acting the way she used to? Idk you decide.


End file.
